his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
