May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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