I think i peed on brittanys purse
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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