why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
