do herpes really smell.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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