My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
my sisters under your porch take her home
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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