Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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