Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
