now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
As shirtless as possible
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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