"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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