Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize