weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
