tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
