what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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