NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
