Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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