and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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