That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is the high leading the old right now
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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