normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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