I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
