It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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