i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
