i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
