just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
