You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
