I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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