Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
