my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize