Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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