they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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