And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
