508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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