3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
