Welp...herpes.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
