I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
