Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
