Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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