After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
