Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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