My cat gives me a boner
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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