it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
