Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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