i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
