I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
