ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize