I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I want to fling myself into the sun
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
