After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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