you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
