Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
