Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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