i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
