woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize