it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
