oh god the rape fog is back!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
