Already got asked if we're dating
Welp...herpes.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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