Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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