We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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