This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
