when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
