I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
