i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
