when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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